Don't F*** With Chicago Bitches

So Nicole and I were walking home this morning after a night of partying and she got half-assed mugged. This little f***er came out of nowhere and tried grabbing Nicole's purse. She started yelling, "Mother f***er! Mother f***er! That's my purse!"and hit him on the back. Then I start yelling "Mother f***er! Mother f***er! and kicked his a** to the ground where he laid on his side with his legs curled and hands over his head. We scared that mother f***er.

It all happened so quickly, that after I kicked him and he fell, I looked to Nicole to make sure she had her purse. And then he ran away. But I swear I would have kick that prick in the nuts and then in his face if I had the chance. No doubt.

An old boyfriend once told me: "If you get attacked, yell like a crazy person and you'll scare them off. And that's what Nicole and I did. Oh, and we beat the mugger's a**! But in all seriousness, we're lucky that he didn't have a knife or gun.

But don't be worried that Madrid is a dangerous city. It actually has a reputation of being one of the safest in Europe. And muggings happen everywhere. S*** within the past few months I know two friends who have been mugged in Chicago. One during the day in Greek Town and the other at night in Lakeview.

Nicole and I both agreed that we weren't aware of our surroundings. When I walk alone day or night (in US and Europe) I constantly look behind me to make sure no one is following me. Nicole does the same.

But what's so f***ed up about it is that Nicole and I can't stop laughing about it!